A friend of mine is getting married, actually if I am being truthful, several friends of mine are getting married. I’m thinking of one couple in particular because I have offered to make the garter. Marriage is a pretty normal occurrence in today’s society. Most people get married eventually, and with the winds of social change soon both homosexual and heterosexual couples will get to experience this joy. I think the first thought that comes to mind after you come down off of the newly engaged high is “What now?”. Just precisely how do you go about getting from shiny ring to holy matrimony?
To answer that question I am going to tell a teensy bit of my own story. When I was a teenager I swore off marriage and all marriage related cutesyness. I did this for two distinct and equally important reasons. Firstly, my parents kind of sucked at being married. If they had never gotten married, except for the loss of myself and my siblings, the world would probably be a better place. Secondly, my best friend got married when I was 16. This to me at the time seemed like the worst possible idea because it carried her away from our dearly loved Alabama to Alaska. We got to visit a few times after that but naturally our relationship would never be the same. These events cause me to have what I like to think of as a marriage grudge. The abstract idea of marriage was a good place to dump a lot of my unhappier feelings for me at the time.
Then, before I really realized what was happening, I met Steven. HE of course, changed my opinion on quite a few things and now I am happily married and more than happy to help others achieve marital bliss. However, when I was planning my wedding I had virtually no family help to speak of. My mother did not care for my choice of groom and being the independent soul that I am did not care one fig. Having no mother, but a great host of wonderful friends I made do rather nicely. There was a kind, smart, and rather hilarious Jewish women helped to plan and undertake the task of a wedding on the cheap. We had quite a nice wedding and a lovely reception mostly due to help from friends and a few scattered family.
My experience in all of that taught me a lot. I learned who my friends were, who really cared about me and about us. However I think one of the most important lessons I learned was to not take the whole thing too seriously. Don’t mistake my meaning here. Marriage is serious, and hard, and a lot of work, but the wedding is just fluff. My point (yes, I have one) is that you shouldn’t take the fluff too seriously. Don’t go into debt to have a flufftastic wedding. Let’s face it, once the wedding is over you still have to plan and pay for the rest of your life together. Have fun. Don’t stress. Drink some wine.