My sister just went through a break -up. Now, I firmly believe this is one of the best decisions that she has ever made. Break-ups suck. It is a sad, but very true state of human existence that every relationship must have a beginning and an ending. Sometimes these relationships end too quickly. People get snatched out of our lives long before we are ready and sometimes they stay in our lives long past when it would have been better to have ended a connection. I have seen and been a part of many break-ups. Few are ever happy. Endings are scary, and rarely ever at the right time for everybody involved. If you do have to suffer through such an ending here are some tips to keep you from feeling the break-up blues.
I think of the best ways that I have ever found to recover from a relationship ending is to reach out to friends and family, even, or maybe especially, ones you might have lost touch with.Let them support you. Lean on them. That is what they are there for. Instead of wallowing in self pity and eating gallons of ice cream alone, invite your friends over. They will listen to you complain and help you eat the ice cream. It is really tempting sometimes to dive into new relationships, but that doesn’t always end well. Rarely do we regret leaning on friends. Friends don’t judge and chances are you will be comforting them through a break up one day, if you haven’t already. It is ok to lean on someone else a little, especially if you are feeling icky and unloved.
This will sound simple,but have fun. Life is too short to be miserable because something ended when you could be enjoying the beginning of something else. Being alone is not a bad thing. Sometimes it can be the best thing. Go out and do exciting and fun things and don’t feel guilty about it. Having fun doesn’t mean that you miss that person any less, or that you don’t wish things might have been different, but it will keep you from sitting at home, alone, with that ever tempting ice cream. Go see a local band, invite some friends to see a movie, go try something new! It doesn’t matter. Just have fun.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Sometimes, when we are dealing with loss or emotional stress, we forget to take care of ourselves. We don’t eat like we know that we should and we don’t want to get up off the couch and exercise because wallowing can be a powerful temptation. Resist! Get outside and breathe the fresh air. Even if you aren’t a runner or you don’t like to his the gym,you can always just walk around your neighborhood. Just don’t coop yourself up the in the house in your PJ’s every time it’s tempting. That is alright occasionally, but it is easy to fall into that habit which is bad for self-esteem and generally doesn’t make you feel any better in the long run.
Set goals! Again, this may sound simple, but it rarely is. Set goals for yourself. Make a list of things that you want to accomplish, for you! What do you want out of life? What do you want out of the next month? Year? Whatever the goals are or the span of time, it doesn’t matter. We all need something to look forward to, something to work toward, and what better time to plan what you want than when you don’t have another person around to fit into those plans.
Be happy! Time heals, sometimes it takes a lot of time, but eventually we will all be alright.