Everyone is different. I get that. I am one of those rare people that once I make up my mind to do something, I just do it. I don’t analyze it. I don’t tend to second guess myself. If I decide to do something, be it getting a tattoo, or moving, or switching jobs, or ending a relationship, I tend to have it done not long after the decision is made. I’ve been told that makes me impulsive, but I don’t see it that way. Before I decide to do something, I tend to have thought about it a while.
I suppose this is why my current situation is so strange to me. I haven’t made up my mind yet. I decided 10 days ago to move. Truly the place I was living was pretty terrible. The only good thing about it was the people I was living with, and that wasn’t always a wonderful experience. So I decided to move. And then I did. In fact I signed the lease 8 days ago and have been living there a week today. All but a few of my things are moved into my new place. The thing is that now that I have moved I am not sure what to do about all the other things that need to be decided. I haven’t really let myself analyze them yet.
I’ve been so emotionally distraught that I haven’t been writing, or crafting or doing much of anything that is normal for me this summer. It has truly been a stress filled, strange and not very beautiful summer on a personal level. Professionally (if that word can even be applied to me) it has been great. I have worked my butt off and we had a ton of kids at church this summer which is truly unheard of for a summer at Trinity.
I got a prompt for PS that asks about happiness, which made me think of my life path at the moment. I think happiness is an ever moving bullseye on the target of life. The things that make us happy when we are 15 will not be the same things that make us happy at 25. In fact, things that make us happy yesterday, might not make us happy today. We change jobs, end and begin relationships, move from place to place, all in the pursuit of happiness. I think we sometimes over complicate the notion of what it is to be happy. We let all the sadness and bitterness and disappointment take over our lives and forget to appreciate the small things that can make us happy. Happiness is right there, whenever we decide to reach for it. We can appreciate the smell, taste, and warmth of a cup of coffee, and let go of all the anxieties that we can’t do anything about. That is happiness. Living in the moment, and making it your mission to enjoy that one moment is happiness. We can’t change the past and we have limited impact on the future, so don’t worry, enjoy life, and be happy.
So here’s to all of us crazy, impulsive people. May we find our way.
Living in the moment.