Know when to hold em

Lent is one of my favorite times of year. I’m not sure if it is the promise of Spring or the spiritual do-over that Lent represents, but something about it is pretty stinking amazing to me.

How often in life do we get to relive the same moment, the same sort of event? I think it is rare. Sure we celebrate our birthday, and Christmas every year but no two years are the same. Friends that celebrated with you one year might be gone the next. Family that you opened gifts with every Christmas morning could change through death, distance or simple lack of affection. Lent and Holy Week are constants each year. One leads steadily to another and then finally to Easter and after that everything is downhill. I like that. I find it comforting.

Life has changed rather drastically in the last year for me. I had a kid and I am told that will change a person. I am getting (almost there) a divorce. I am adventuring again. I suppose I have been single for the past year or so, but it is really hitting me now. I didn’t plan to be single in this particular phase of my life but there it is. I’m not entirely thrilled about it but if the alternative is being tied to someone who clearly doesn’t want to be tied to me I will gladly take it. I can work on changing my singleness. I can’t change the hardened heart of another human.

That is the hardest part of any separation, knowing when it is futile to continue. Kenny Rogers was correct when he said that you have to know when to hold em and when to fold em. I’m folding. I am taking the initiative, ready to get this over with as soon as possible so I can move on to a better adventure because I have been stuck in this rut entirely too long. I’ve got no more tears, or sad thoughts, at least not at the moment. At the moment I am just done.

I love Lent, and Holy Week, because at the end of all that work and contemplative time is a great celebration and a new adventure. I went to a service tonight because I can do that all by myself and I am glad that I did. The message was good. Do something kind for someone, and not necessarily someone you like or even really know. That’s a pretty good message and one I will make happen this week. Go. Spread Kindness. Have an adventure. Be single and learn to enjoy it.

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